Fourth Entry

Hi,

- It seems that I've been thinking a lot about life lately and about music as well. One thing that has come to my mind is DJing. It used to be magnificent to think about, and that it'd open so many doors to my hobby/career. But it seems there's too many people fighting in the scene and too much competition, and not enough love for music.

- This has pushed me to further my knowledge in music production and stretch my skill, and to forget my dream of becoming a great DJ. I still have 2 cdj-200's and a mixer, something to always travel back into time and dream of a crowd in front of me, a nice bin of energy drinks and a hot chick dancing behind me.

- My social life has been not so good, it seems that people have started to cast me out of their lives. For some reason it seems throughout the year i've been losing a lot of friends. Gaining new ones, but then losing those from random stretches of non-socialization/people ignoring people.
I've figured this is because of the way that I talk, and how i speak my mind in fear of nothing, for strick curiosity of the response that is given by whom i am speaking to. Thus making them think differently about me etc.,

- It is sad, but This New Year I am making a plead to myself, and that is to forget all of those people, forget them and move on, If they're not interested in me, I shall show no interest in them.

I've realized all i have is my family, the few of them left, and that for the next day that my brother is home i'm going to try to make it the best. I love my brother more than anything, and the fact that he's 1000 miles away doesnt help.

I am infact, in need of friends/people that care. But with my ignorance and addiction to music production i doubt that will happen.

" I am addicted to a drug called music "


Happy New Years